


Time Cannot Erase

by SarahDemetae (SanguineSerenity)



Category: Chronicles of Elantra - Michelle Sagara
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Midwife!Kaylin, may be on time to save someone else's, still can't be on time to save her life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2019-10-30 03:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17821280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanguineSerenity/pseuds/SarahDemetae
Summary: Kaylin was good at her job. It's a good thing serving community service at the Halls of Law won't interfere with it. Chronicles of Elantra AU in which Kaylin ends up at Marrin's Foundling Hall instead of the Hawklord's tower.





	1. No attorneys to plead my case

It probably didn’t help that Kaylin ran from the Hawks but, then again, neither did punching the young lordling in the face. The foundling halls weren’t in the most gentile parts of town - a well aimed knee usually sufficed when a drunk felt particularly entitled - but the wandering hands of the entitled prat hadn’t been going for her. They’d been going for Anita - Anita who was still too young, only new to the foundling halls, and had certainly had enough of men’s hands. So, the punch.

'Corporal Danelle has charged you with both assault and resisting arrest'. The bristling leontine in front of her made it sound like a question - that was a trap. Kaylin knew from living with a Leontine matriarch to say nothing when eyes were that shade of orange. Then again, she really needed to know that Anita made it back to the foundling halls.

'Sir,' He growled. She paused long enough to make sure the growl wouldn’t become a lunge for the throat. 'Sir, did the young girl who was with me make it to the Foundling halls okay?' He was a Leontine and understood sticking your neck out for someone in the pridelea - that might have been all that saved her neck for speaking out.

'While your arresting officer was charging you, and her partner escorting your friend home, it appears the alleged victim went on his way.’ At Kaylin’s blank look, he continued ‘Without his testimony, we aren’t under an obligation to detain you - unless he comes forward and identifies you'.

Kaylin adjusted the stick in her hair. It had been falling out for fifteen minutes, but until then her arms felt glued to her sides. The man she punched didn’t know her name - Kaylin wondered if he had assumed the world would arrange itself to his liking and dump her in jail without any effort on his part. It also seemed the Hawks who arrested her hadn’t followed through on seeking evidence to make their charges stand up. 'Thank you, Seargeant Kassan'. On reflection, the Hawks may have marched her around the corner with stern looks, and given her a pat on the back once out of sight. Had she not run. 

Her arresting officers were Barrani - maybe they found it insulting that she, a human, thought to outrun them. It was the opinion of the Barranni who picked her up when she was thirteen and living on the streets of the city, depositing her at the foundling hall on the order of the same leontine she sat in front of now. It could have even been the same two Barranni, she couldn’t tell them apart. 

The relief must have shown on her face too soon - he continued: 'We’re letting you off with community service. You’re to attend the Halls of Law two days every week for six months, for whatever use we can make of you.Talk to Caitlin, by the door, and she will let you know when you’ll be needed. You were one of Marrin’s girls?' She nodded. 'I’ll let your Mrynn know the situation'.

Locking her up may have been kinder. At least then, she’d have a good reason not to listen to a disappointed leontine den mother lecture her next time she showed her face at the halls. Leontine disappointment was worse than leontine anger - droopy whiskers were far better at eliciting feelings of guilt.

Still, said den mother had raised her to be polite, Kaylin responded with a more subdued 'Thank you, Sargeant Kassan'.

Kaylin discussed her schedule with the Hawk that Marcus has gestured to, on her way out of the office - she was required during the days, but she was able to pick ones that didn’t interfere with her night shifts at the midwifes’ guild - and walked out on to the slightly-too-clean-for-comfort streets.

Kaylin briefly considered going straight to her apartment - the dingy little room above the bar she used to to work at when she was an apprentice midwife, and after to make ends meet - but the Leontine Sargeant’s assurances aside, she needed to check on Anita.

The walk to the foundling halls was a long one. Kaylin wondered at the wisdom of putting the Halls of Law near all the rich folk, and far from all the crime. The Halls of Law were visible from the riverside like everywhere else in the city, but not quite close enough to draw the eye. Nestor street was home to the Foundling hall, and ran along one side of the Ablayne river. Theoretically it was well within the city limits, but practically it was almost at the boundary of the city and the fiefs.

You could see the Halls of Law from the fiefs too - not that it made much difference. She hadn’t moved all to far from the streets of her youth.

She turned into the pathway leading to the Foundling Hall. The grounds were gated but hadn’t been locked for the night. The gates were to keep mischievous children in, the latch just out of reach of those too young to know better. The locks were to keep predators out. Marrin learnt the hard way that she alone was not enough to defend her pridelea.

Kaylin walked the path to the sprawling three storey building. She noticed the gutters were starting to clog with leaves - she’d have to remind one of the older boys to get up there an clean them out. Sid had left the halls not long after her, and become a carpenter - he should have a ladder long enough and a mind muddled enough to climb up there.

She pushed open the door leading to the main hall - a grand receiving hall for the old owner, turned lesson hall and play area for the children who now lived at the Hall. This is where Marrin taught children discarded by the world how to live in it anyway. Here, Kaylin learnt her letters and numbers. In the kitchens she learnt to cook - often by burning her hands - and in the markets the older children taught her how to bargain and keep a budget. There weren’t enough volunteers, so everyone pitched in at the halls, learnt how to survive outside them, and paid back their dues by coming back to help out and setting aside what they could.

Classes finished early that day so shopping could be done at the market - the reason Kaylin had been escorting Anita in the first place - and the entrance hall was now empty but for a downtrodden looking Anita and a bristling Marrin.

When the young girl caught sight of Kaylin, she shot to her feet and wrapped her arms around Kaylin’s waist in seconds. She started babbling 'I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m so sorry. I should have stayed closer to you. I’m not going out to the markets again it’ll be okay'. 

'Hey hey, none of that, shh'. Kaylin wrapped her arms around the girl and rocked gently to each side. She felt guilt for her actions for the first time. If she hadn’t acted so rashly, the young girl wouldn’t be in such a state. 'We’ll be off to the markets again next week, and this time we’ll take John with us'. Anita had adored the older foundling since he’d rescued her from the bullying of a few city kids. 

Kaylin remembered what it was like to trust someone so completely. It hadn’t worked out for her, but she didn’t think John had it in him to let Anita down.

'Oh...okay' Anita snuffled. She was at the age where she was starting to hide her tears. Kaylin wished it wasn’t necessary, but the world wasn’t kind to those who wore their emotions openly.

Marrin’s voice could convey comfort in a way Kaylin’s couldn’t. 'Why don’t you go wash up for dinner?' she purred. 

The warmth in her tone disappeared once Anita left the room. The purr became a growl. 'How could you be so foolish?' 

Kaylin showed her throat. She had already dealt with one angry Leontine that day. 'I reacted without thinking.’ Marrin’s continued growling showed excuses weren’t going to cut it. ‘He was being a lout and Anita needs to know there are people who will stand up for her'. The rumble in in Marrin’s throat continued. 'I’m sorry'.

The growling stopped. Marrin sighed instead. 'I know. But “sorry” doesn’t fix anything. You’ll be at the Halls of Law from now on, regularly. A single slip is all it would take to bring the Emperor’s wrath down on your head'.

Kaylin knew what Marrin left unsaid. _On all our heads_.

'I’ll stay out of trouble'.

Marrin didn’t acknowledge her last comment. 'You’re already here. Stay for dinner'.

***

It was lucky that the midwives were able to find Kaylin at the foundling hall when she stayed the night. The sound of someone yelling through her mirror woke the landlord, who mirrored Marrin to complain about Kaylin.

It was unlucky that staying at the Foundling halls put Kaylin twice as far from the house she needed to get to than if she’d stayed at home.

Kaylin ran - she spent a lot of her evenings running. The evenings she was on call at the guild were filled with jogging to a labouring mother’s house, with plenty of time to set up the birthing room to welcome a baby into the world. The evenings she wasn’t on call, but had to run anyway, were the worst. Not because she needed to run flat out with air burning her lungs in the pitch black of night without warning, but because of what would happen if she didn’t. Kaylin only got called when she was off duty if something went very wrong.

Kaylin pounded on the door of the house she had been directed to, and swept past the white-faced man who opened it. On a normal night she’d reassure him. Tonight there was no time.

‘Up here!’ yelled Bridget, the senior midwife on duty that night. She was with Gabrielle, one of the apprentices, and an unconscious mother-to-be. Not good. Bridget turned to Gabrielle ‘Take the father downstairs, close the door behind you.’

The first thing an apprentice learnt was do what a more senior midwife told you.

Kaylin looked at the room - things had happened too fast for everything to be prepared. Kaylin lay her hand against the basin of cool water, waited until steam rose from the surface, and got to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovely people! It has been a very long time since I wrote fanfiction. This story worked its way into my brain, and got me excited about writing again. There are a lot of interesting changes that come about when Kaylin isn’t raised in the Hawks, and that’s what I’m going to explore. You already see a few in this chapter, with plenty more to come.  
> Will Kaylin be able to keep her secret? How much control does she have of her power? Can the author maintain her current determination to write a complete fanfiction? Who knows!  
> Comment if you know which song the story title came from!


	2. I'm staring into your eyes and they are full of fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaylin is about as good at keeping secrets as she is at arriving on time.

Kaylin was in no hurry to get to the Halls of Law. She bought two sweetcakes from the street vendor a street over from her apartment, and he gave her a third for free - she had helped birth his first and third child, thankfully without needing any magic.

Her meandering took her past a few taverns she frequented with the younger midwives on an evening off. Kale was already out the front of the Wild Brumby, hauling kegs off a wagon, and as she passed by he grabbed her by the waist and swung her over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

Her laugh was a bit breathy with his shoulder in her stomach, but she managed one anyway. ‘Put me down you idiot!’

He started carrying her up the street in the direction she was walking. ‘Can’t do that Miss. You took a nasty spill off that table a week ago. Shouldn’t be on your feet.’ He continued to the street corner before depositing her back on the ground. ‘Business in the upper city?’

She shaded her eyes to look up at him ‘Got caught punching some caste court darling. Serving my time filing paperwork at the Halls of Law’.

He put his hand on his chest, ‘The lengths you will go to to bring someone down a notch are truly awe-inspiring.’

She started on her way before shouting over her shoulder ‘Well, I still haven’t managed to put a dent in your ego.’

The familiar faces grew fewer as she approached the Halls of Law, and she started to sweat. The long sleeves of her dress, though made out of the lightest fabric she could afford, were not made for summer. She nodded at the two guards, an Aerian and a human, and made her way into the office.

Her work was never the same at the Halls of Law, but it was invariably boring. She was put on the inquiry desk to start, before they realised Kaylin had low tolerance for idiots - and was willing to take it out on said idiots. 

She was then put on filing, which she did slowly while eavesdropping on the conversations going on around her. She didn’t pick up much of interest, beyond the usual workplace gossip, because if the Hawks wished to discuss anything sensitive while she was around, they only needed to switch to speaking Barranni. She picked up an understanding of the Baranni alphabet, to add to her meagre vocabulary of fief Barrani - in her youth, it had been useful to know if one of the fieflord’s thugs yelled “grab her”.

Kaylin picked up a surprising trade in doing first aid, making use of her training as a midwife. She hadn’t met Sargeant Moran, who was in charge of the infirmary, but suspected Moran’s tolerance for idiots was even lower than her own. Kaylin patched minor injuries she could reasonably dealt with from a first aid kit, to save those Hawks the embarrassment of explaining, for example, that they were cut while juggling knives. Three times she was forced to put her foot down when Hawks pushed her to take care of injuries too severe for the tools she had available - once a thwack from Teela, the Baranni corporal who arrested her, was needed to send a young private on his way to the infirmary.

At the end of the day, Kaylin was sewing closed a cut for Clint, the Aerian who had guarded the door that morning, when she ran out of gauze. She was also low on a few other things. His face was drawn with the pain - his hand was caught in the heavy entrance doors, and the surrounding bruising was bad. Kaylin didn’t think he’d broken his hand.

‘I’m sorry, I’ve run out of some of the supplies I need.’ He didn’t respond. ‘You’ll have to go to the infirmary, and Sargeant Moran can fix you up.’ Her words seemed to register slowly, which was odd in someone she was used to seeing alert.

Kaylin was concerned that he might not go to the infirmary if left to his own devices, and she needed to restock the first aid kit. She touched him on the shoulder, and his wings flared as if startled. ‘I’ll come with you.’

She led the way towards the corridors that connected to Hawklord’s Tower to the Swordlord’s tower, which is where she presumed the infirmary was located - it was the direction she pointed when staring down stubborn, seriously injured patients. After the second wrong turn, Clint took the lead.

The infirmary was not a comforting place. Maybe because the beds looked closer to benches, but Kaylin privately thought it was the expression on Sargeant Moran’s face.

She took one look at Clint, and nodded her head to one of the beds. ‘Sit down’.

Kaylin wasn’t sure what to do while Moran dealt with Clint. Moran must have had the same thought. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘I just came to restock the office’s first aid kit.’ Kaylin held up the depleted box for inspection.

‘Hmm’. Moran pursed her lips. ‘Before you go, hold his hand in the position it needs to be bandaged in’.

Kaylin walked over to where Clint was sitting, and picked up his hand. She rotated his wrist into a neutral position, and flattened his palm so there was space between his thumb and the rest of his fingers. She held his hand by his fingers and wrist while Moran bandaged it, and once Moran was finished Kaylin pressed down on one of Clint’s fingernails to check his circulation hadn’t been cut off. Moran kept an eye on her the entire time.

Moran put away all the materials, and pulled out a small vial. She put three drops in a glass of water, and gave it to Clint to drink. Kaylin was surprised - Clint would be in some pain, but it would be bearable. Moran didn’t seem the type to use precious painkillers on those who brought it upon themselves.

Once Clint downed the drink, Moran briefly clasped his shoulder. ‘Worrying yourself into an early grave won’t help her.’ Clint nodded, got up and left.

Kaylin was sure she was missing something. She didn’t get long to ponder it before Moran asked, ‘What is the first aid kit low in?’

‘Bandages, disinfectant, gloves and medical thread.’

Moran started pulling those things from the cupboards. ‘Hmm. I haven’t had to restock that kit in five years. Are you behind the sudden decline in idiots coming to my door?’

Kaylin felt a trap looming. Nothing annoyed a doctor more than their patients being misdiagnosed by a well-meaning stranger. ‘Only the ones that can appropriately be dealt with using first aid. It’s part of our training as midwives.’

‘Surely first aid is different from what you need to know for a birth?’

‘We apprentice for six months with the nurses guild, just as they do six months with us. Plenty of fathers faint and split their head open, see.’

‘Well you did well referring Ferris and Anders to me. Clint too. Keep your kit more up to date in future.’

Kaylin took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to get in trouble for playing in someone else’s patch.

There was one thing she was still unsure about. ‘Did Clint break his hand? I thought it was just bruised, and that wouldn’t need a painkiller…’

‘I didn’t give him a painkiller, just a very weak calming drought. He likely smashed his hand in the first place because his wife is in labour.’ She paused and looked at Kaylin. ‘It’s been a long one, and it isn’t going well.’

‘Oh.’ Kaylin didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t offer her help in any official capacity as a midwife - the Aerians had their own.

Moran sighed. ‘Sometimes the fates are cruel and there’s nothing to be done. I’m sure you know that better than most. Give Clint his space.’

Kaylin nodded, and left the room with her newly re-stocked kit. 

Kaylin had never accepted that there was nothing to be done, and she wasn’t about to start. 

***

Kaylin saw Clint as he was about to reach the Aerie, from which most of the Aerians flew out of the high windows to leave the building. She yelled out to stop him. ‘Clint!’

She drew a few eyes, particularly from the keen-eared Baranni, but she got his attention which was what she was after. Once she was close enough, she more discreetly asked. ‘Is there somewhere we can talk in private.’ He still looked anxious to go. ‘I can help’.

Hope and doubt warred on his face for another moment, before he gestured to one of the side rooms. It was full of a heavy dark table, with matching chairs that made sitting on the floor look comfortable. Paintings of what must have been important personages lined the walls. Most importantly, it had a heavy door that no-one could listen through. Once inside Clint started ‘I appreciate that you want to help. I know you are a midwife, but we Aerians do have our own midwives. There’s nothing you can do that they…’

‘I can heal.’

Clint weighed those words up for a moment. Kaylin took the chance to continue. ‘Please don’t tell anyone. If you did, it would put me and those I care for in danger.’

‘All healers are in direct service to the Emperor’.

‘I know. That’s why I keep it a secret. If I was serving the Emperor, and healing papercuts for whichever castelord is in favour, I couldn’t work with the midwives and the people who actually need it!’

She could see Clint still had his doubts. She picked up his injured hand once again. ‘What is your wife’s name?’

He didn’t answer until after she unwound the bandage on his hand to reveal smooth, unblemished skin. ‘Sesti. Her name is Sesti.’

Clint’s mind made up, they left the room. He lead her through the Aerie, leaving through the front doors and turning a corner into a secluded alley, before Clint spoke again. ‘I can get you to the birthing caves, but you will have to make your own way in. Men aren’t allowed.’

‘I can do that’ Kaylin said. ‘How will you get me…’

Before she could finish, Clint swept an arm under her knees, and with another supporting her back, launched off into the night sky.

***

The word “cave” put Kalin in mind of dark, damp and glomy holes in the ground - not the best place to bring new life into the world. The Aerian birthing caves were anything but. Hewn into the sides of the cliff, they were open to the cold wind blowing across the plains, and connected by a series of paths cut into the rock. Talking her way into the Aerian birthing caves was easier than she thought. Clint vouched for her, all he could do since he could not join her. Kaylin said she could offer Sesti comfort, and that was enough for the Aerian midwives. It was a bad sign that they put up no further protest - a sign that they felt Sesti had gone beyond their help.

Sesti had very nearly gone beyond Kaylin’s help. The midwives left them in privacy - they had patients that needed their time, and no one wanted an audience when a loved one was dying.

Sesti’s breathing was shallow, she had a high temperature, and contractions were weakening. Kaylin placed one hand on the Aerian’s brow, one on her stomach, and began her work.

First, Kaylin sent cool healing energy towards the mother and babe. He’d be a healthy boy if they got through this, but he was panicking, and fading. Kaylin didn’t know what was wrong with the birth - she didn’t know how an Aerian birth should look.

She had the same ludicrous thought as the first time she saw an Aerian. Where do you put the wings?

In desperation she reached out for the elemental water. Water was a part of every human birth, maybe it was also part of an Aerian one.

When she found the elemental water, it was not the aspect she needed. It was the water of turbulent seas, and the deep dark cold. She needed the water of the womb, and mother’s milk. She needed the kind instead of the vicious. Pushing past the first aspect she encountered, she continued until she found what she was after - the warm water that had cradled all the babes ever born.

_What is wrong?_ She asked it.

The water answered not in words, but in sensations. She felt a tight cocoon of soft dark feathers.

Sesti’s baby hadn’t pulled together his wings, and couldn’t get out of the birth canal. Kaylin sunk deeper into the healing, and began to see why. His wings were misshapen, and the joints hadn’t formed properly. Kaylin got to work moulding them into the right shapes, the same ones his mother had.

The minute she was done with the wings, everything went like a normal birth. Kaylin kept providing strength to Sesti by holding her hand, and yelled for the midwives. After a minute, Sesti worked up the energy to start yelling herself, and the astonished Aerian midwives came to help Sesti’s boy into the world.

The midwives may have thought it was a miracle. Sesti rested her head on Kaylin’s shoulder, and Kaylin turned to look at her. The two of them smiled at each other, like it was they had an in-joke.

They even let Kaylin hold the baby once his feathers were cleaned up.

***

Kaylin fell into a rhythm with her new set of responsibilities. She worked her five shifts with the midwives, two days with the Hawks. One of those days overlapped, and left her exhausted at the end of the night shift, but it gave her a free market day she could use to take some of the foundlings out for the day.

Her work at the Halls of Law got no less boring, but much more bearable. She wasn’t sure what explanation Clint gave Sargeant Kassan, but her only punishment for missing her community service the while she was recovering from Sesti’s healing was a make-up day the next week, with no questions asked. She discovered that Clint had a good-natured sense of humor, and enjoyed pointing out just how late she was each morning. Taking their lead from Clint, most of the other mortals in the office would chat with her as they passed her desk, usually to procrastinate giving Iron Jaw news he didn’t want to hear.

The Barrani, on the whole, remained aloof. She could see it was the way they treated all mortals, Hawk and civilian alike. There were two exceptions. Corporal Danelle - Teela - had, it turned out, arrested her twice. Most recently, she was the Barrani to cuff her for punching a member of the human caste court. She was also one of the Barrani who arrested her for her light fingers shortly after coming to the city. Teela’s partner, Tain, followed Teela’s lead.

Teela dropped by Kaylin’s desk at random. Teela didn’t fear giving Sargeant Kassan bad news, the primary motivation people had for talking too her, so this made Kaylin suspicious. She gathered from office gossip that it was a healthy attitude to have around the Baranni.

Kaylin also hadn’t forgotten that Teela heard her call out to Clint on the day she healed his wife. She didn’t doubt, given the slightest hint, the Barranni could put two and two together.

Teela sat herself down on the edge of Kaylin’s desk. Anyone else with that posture would be slouching. ‘So, I hear you frequent the Wild Brumby.’

Like most of her conversations with Teela, Kaylin wasn’t sure where this was going. ‘It’s close to the midwives guild, we sometimes go after our shifts.’

‘Excellent. I’ve been temporarily banned from my usual haunt, and I’ve chosen to honour it. Meet you at the Brumby after you’re done here?’

Kaylin had visions of also being banned from her usual haunt because of Teela’s antics. ‘I can’t do tonight - I’ve got a shift at the guild. Night of the next market day? The Brumby will be crowded, but we could meet at the Spotted Pig.’

Teela shrugged slipped off Kaylin’s desk ‘I’m not banned from there at the moment. See you next market day.’ Teela sauntered out of the office to go harass some other poor mortal - hopefully one that had actually broken the law.

***

All and all, life was getting much more pleasant. Kaylin should have known it wouldn’t last.

She had left the Halls and was on the way to the Guild when she realised that, in her rush to escape, she hadn’t asked Clint what his son’s name was. The naming day had been yesterday, and she wouldn’t be in at the Halls for another four days.

She turned back in the direction of the Halls of Law, hurrying down the wide twilight-bathed streets when saw him.

Tall, despite a youth in the fiefs, and now with the bulk of someone well trained and well fed, he nodded at Clint as he walked into the Halls of Law with another man at his side. Neither of them wore obvious signs of who they worked for, but Kaylin could guess - well armed and armoured without a Lord to publicly claim them? Kaylin was shocked the fieflord’s thugs came into the city, let alone the Halls of Law.

She wasn’t sure why Severn was at the Halls of Law, but she knew he couldn’t find her, or he might finish what he started seven years prior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Apologies for the delay, I visited my hometown for the weekend, which involves 5 hours drive each way and leaves very little time for writing. I have updated the chapter count, as the number of chapters in this fic will roughly reflect the number of chapters in the book. Hope you enjoy.


	3. I don't need your lies, or your truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teela takes Kaylin out drinking. It goes as well as you'd expect.

Kaylin had four days to think of a way to avoid Severn should he return to the Halls of Law while she was there. She came up with nothing but the desperate hope that the firelord's business was done, and he’d have no reason to return.

Her hope grew on the first day she was back at the Halls and saw no sign of him. She was so wary she got little done, which did not bother her much - she was sure the world wouldn’t end if if Sargeant Kassan’s paperwork pile remained un-filed for an extra day. It did bother Sargeant Kassan, whose growl at her slow pace caused her to jump and spill tea all over Caitlin’s desk. Caitlin, who didn’t have an angry bone in her body, was solicitous instead. ‘Are you okay dear? You seem a bit wound up.’

Kaylin tried to lie, in the first instance ‘Oh, no I’m fine.’

Caitlin seemed unconvinced. That was fair, Kaylin wouldn’t have believed it either.

‘I just ran into someone I used to know, and didn’t expect to see.’

‘Not a pleasant reunion?’

‘Not really.’

Caitlin paused a moment. ‘Ah. I see.’

Kaylin was unsure what there was to be seen in her statement. To stop herself revealing anything else, she took herself off to the other end of the room, as far away from tea mugs and inquisitive Hawks as she could manage, and did a good job of looking busy until she could leave.

Kaylin was more relaxed the next day she was at the Halls of Law and, tasked with the minutiae that kept the Halls running, she forgot to be cautious. She heard his voice coming from the entrance to the large room where the Hawks gathered and pretended to do paperwork. 

Kaylin would recognise that voice anywhere. She had heard that voice, from the top of her head muffled through scant clothes and strong arms as she cried out her mother’s death. She had heard it yell out a warning across an open streets, when ferals got too close to her, and he wanted to present a more appealing target. She had heard it whisper in a dark room when they didn’t want to attract the attention of the brutes outside.

She didn’t turn around.

Instead, she took the stick out of her hair. From behind she looked like a random stranger, perhaps dressed too warm for the weather in her long-sleeved dress.

She continued to file papers into the draw in front of her. She listened.

When Severn passed by her back, she tried to hear to what he was saying. He spoke in low tones so no-one would overhear. Kaylin had honed the skill of appearing boring and insignificant long ago, and they didn’t shut up as they passed the only civilian in the office - but few humans spoke anything but Elantran, unless their job required it.

She had a meagre grasp of Baranni. She only picked up two words: “death” and “child”.

Severn and the man he was talking to passed through the room and into the entrance of the Hawklord’s tower.

Kaylin finished filing the paperwork in her hands, walked into the bathroom, and vomited.

***

Kaylin spent the rest of the day with her hair out and her head down - Severn did not reappear. She also took the earliest opportunity to leave the building, which was when Caitlin commented she “looked a little peaky.”

She walked to her tiny flat, got into bed fully clothed, and pulled the blanket over her head.

Death. Child. Severn came from the fiefs.

It was happening again.

All of Kaylin’s youth was dominated by death in the feifs. Death was a part of life for all mortals, but it was a day-to-day occurrence in the feifs. Always, the reasons were obvious - a feral, a thug, the feiflord’s displeasure. Always, it was something you could avoid if you were cautious enough.

No amount of caution helped the children of the feifs after her marks appeared.

Kaylin curled herself into a tight ball on her side. Her breath felt warm against her face, trapped by the blanket. She remembered the way everyone waited with bated breath to see who it would be _this_ month. She remembered how those who should have been most secure - the fief version of wealthy, with a family and a permanent place to live - were just as likely to die as those sleeping under eaves.

She remembered how glad she was every month when it was someone else.

She remembered the time she would have traded places.

Kaylin thought of how powerless she was, and how scared it had made her. Kaylin thought of her anger as everything she loved was taken from her. Then she thought of fire, and every candle in the room flared to life.

She was a powerless child no longer.

***

Kaylin approached the end of her market day with dread. The day itself was lovely, and she took Catti out for the shopping. The streets were crowded, but no one had gotten in trouble this time.

Given that she agreed to go drinking with Teela, she wasn’t sure she would stay out of trouble.

Kaylin went drinking with the midwives - it was a celebration of a day with no one lost. On occasions, it was a wake for those without anyone else to mourn them. In either instance, Kaylin was known for getting so pissed she danced on tables and kissed all the handsome men in the room.

And drunk Kaylin had a low bar for handsome.

She met Teela three hours after sunset, with a solid meal in her belly. Kaylin heard enough if the office gossip to know that Teela was about as restrained she was when it came to alcohol.

The bar she suggested was a little further than usual, and not one she went to often - which was the reason she picked it. If Teela was going to get her kicked out of somewhere, she didn’t want it to be somewhere she’d miss.

The bar itself was nice enough. Teela, Tain, Clint and Tanner were all there. Caitlin made an appearance for the first round of drinks, which she bought, but left before long. The cider was sweet while she was drinking it, and she drank it until Clint and Tanner made their exit. Then Teela bought a bottle of tequila for the table.

‘What made you want to be a midwife?’ asked Teela. She had an expression of open curiosity on her face - Kaylin wasn’t sure if it was put on for her benefit, or if she was getting better at reading Barranni expressions.

Kaylin was tipsy, but not so tipsy she couldn’t sense a trap. She shrugged. ‘I’m good at it. I like to help.’ She took a shot. ‘Your turn. Why did you want to be a Hawk?’

Teela shrugged. ‘I’m good at it. I like to help.’

Kaylin thought that was fair. Teela continued ‘Where did you live, before the foundling halls?’

She was probing for something. ‘The Warrens in the lower city.’ Kaylin wasn’t going to own to growing up in the feifs, if her suspicions about the murders were correct. And, technically it was true - in the six months between leaving the fiefs and being deposited on the doorstep of the foundling hall, the she lived in the Warrens. 

Teela took a shot. Kaylin matched her. Kaylin suspected this wasn’t how Teela ran an interrogation - Kaylin had seen the predatory look on Teela‘s face as she went into the interrogation rooms. She’d also seen the white faces of the suspects who came out of those interrogation rooms. Still, it Kaylin thought Teela must be after something.

‘What do you do with your free time?’ was Teela’s next question. Kaylin answered, with her fief-born instincts of hiding anything valuable, ‘What free time?’ and took another shot. It was nobody’s damn business that she spent her free time at the foundling halls.

Kaylin didn’t have a question in reply this time, or not one she was stupid enough to ask. Luckily, someone with a violin started up a jig and people started shoving tables and chairs out of the centre of the room. Everyone had consumed enough alcohol to dance.

Kaylin hopped of the stool. The world was unsteady for a moment, then settled. ‘Do you two dance?’ she asked Teela and Tain. They looked at each other with a grin - some inside joke there.

‘Not this kind’ Tain responded. Kaylin shrugged and made her way over to the crowd. It was a circle dance, the kind you could join as soon as someone pulled you in and turned you around to face the next partner. As soon as Kaylin got near, one of the burlier men hooked his arm through hers, and twirled her into the throng of dancers. Faces blurred as she hopped and kicked her feet in time to the beat.

After a few more dances, Teela came over to the crowd and pulled Kaylin out of the throng. ‘Tain and I are leaving. We can walk you home.’

Kaylin’s face was flushed with the effort an excitement of dancing, and the half bottle of Tequila she had consumed. She readjusted the stick in her hair to pull the loose strands away from her neck. ‘No, I’m fine. I don’t live too far away.’

Teela looked dubious, like she was weighing weather or not to toss Kaylin over her shoulder and cary her out. ‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes!’ without waiting for a response Kaylin turned back towards the dance. Her last glimpse of the two of them was Teela furiously whispering something to Tain as they left the bar.

Kaylin enjoyed the rythm and the movement of the dance. Sometimes she felt the fire in her veins, the need to move. Her youth had taught her the safest thing to do was run away from what scared her - and always it was immediate and obvious what the threat was. Now, she did not know which way to run, but wanted the ground to move beneath her feet. So, she danced.

Until her stomach reminded her that all this jumping about was not the best idea after all that tequila.

Kaylin stumbled away from the crowd in the centre of the room, towards one of the darker corners. The bar was hot and loud, and she needed a moment of quiet. The corner was already occupied. ‘Oh, sorry’, she said as she turned to leave. 

His hand grabbed her wrist. ‘No sweetheart, stay’.

A shiver ran down her spine, and her head cleared as she looked at the man who had her trapped. He was tall, pot-bellied, and the sheen to his eyes showed he’d drunk more than she had. Her breath caught in her throat, and fire roared in her veins.

_No. Not here._ Drunk and in a crowded room, she wouldn’t be able to control the flame she summoned.

Instead, she took a breath, twisted her hand so the side of her wrist lined up with the tips of his fingers, and pulled.

As she took a step away, his arm snaked around her waist. A moment of panic hit her before she heard the thud of fist hitting flesh, and his hold loosened. She stepped away before turning to see what had happened.

Severn stood over the unconscious brute who tried to grab her. His expression as he looked down on the man was was one of cold fury. Looking at his face, Kaylin was surprised he’d struck with fists, and not any of the bladed weapons he wore.

Severn looked up at her, and took a step forward. ‘Ellianne...’

Kaylin bent over and vomited on his shoes.

***

Kaylin woke in an unfamiliar bed. From the light of the single candle burning in the room, she could see it was heavy wood. The mattress was more comfortable than her own. She felt the pull of sleep, and the pounding in her head was almost in time with the music she could hear through the floors. She needed a glass of water.

She wasn’t going to go exploring to get one. The last thing she remembered was looking up at Severn - the difference in heights smaller now, but not by much - and then a roaring in her ears as her balance failed her. She didn’t remember hitting the ground.

She presumed she was in Severn’s apartment. By the sound of the music coming through the floor, it was above the bar. Well done me.

She did try and get off the bed, which caused the wood to creak. She swore in the meagre leontine she picked up doing community service - Marrin definitely didn’t swear at the Foundling Hall.

Severn opened the door, glass of water in hand. He approached her the way she would have approached a child new to the Foundling Hall. He put the water down on the table beside the bed. 

Kaylin didn’t take the glass immediately. She thought, and decided that if he wanted her dead, it wouldn’t be poison. That, and she was thirsty.

Severn stepped back. ‘Will you come with me?’ he made towards the open door. Kaylin eyed off the window instead. It was still dark outside, she hadn’t been unconscious long. She wondered if she could make it to the window before he could catch her. Severn saw where her gaze was directed and, as if reading her mind, said ‘I’m on the top floor. You’d break something.’

Breaking something wasn’t, in and of itself, the less appealing option. It did, however, undermine the viability of jumping out the window to escape if he could immediately catch her and drag her back upstairs.

She followed Severn out of the room. The music from downstairs stopped, which her head appreciated. He lead her down a short hallway to a living area filled with functional, but not comfortable, furniture. This was not the apartment of someone who spent a lot of time at home. It was still nicer than hers.

Severn sat on one of the solid chairs. Kaylin sat on the one furthest away from him.

‘Ellianne…’

‘I’m not…’ Kaylin thought the better of correcting him. If she got away, he could look until he was blue in the face but he wouldn’t find “Ellianne” anywhere in the city.

When it became clear she wasn’t going to continue, he started again. ‘Ellianne, let me explain…’

‘No. What are you doing in the city?’

‘I’m a Wolf. I am helping the Hawks investigate some deaths in Nightshade.’

The Wolves were the Emperor’s executioners. The lie suited him, but that didn’t make it any less a lie. ‘You’re working for the fieflord.’

‘No, I’m not. I never have.’

‘You’re lying!’ The water in her glass trembled. The candles in the corner flickered. Kaylin hoped that Severn didn’t notice. 

‘Ellianne, I’m not here to hurt you.’

But he had. And he would. ‘Are the deaths in Nightshade...are they the same?’

‘Yes. They’re happening quicker.’

Kaylin looked at her arms. Beneath the cloth of her sleeves, marks the same as those on murdered children in Nightshade pulsed. 

This was about her. She didn’t know why, or how, but it always had been. Even when it was other children found dead in the morning.

‘I’m going back to Nightshade,’ she said ‘I’m going to figure out why this is happening.’

‘No!’ It was the first time he’s dropped his cool mask. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw clenched. Kaylin wondered if he was angry or scared.

Well, she was angry. ‘You can’t stop me.’

‘Yes I can. What do you think you can do that a trained Hawk can’t?!’

‘I’m from the feifs - I know them like they don’t. I know the people.’

‘So do I.’

‘I don’t trust you.’

He stilled. Everything she had done since waking up had shown she didn’t trust him. She didn’t understand why the words had any more power. ‘I’m going to the feifs.’

‘I’m going with you.’

‘No, you’re not!’

‘Either I go with you or I lock you up at the Halls of Law for interfering with an investigation.’

‘Son of a…’

What would have been some truly inventive cursing was interrupted by the door crashing inwards. Teela stood with one foot out in the hallway, and one foot on the door now lying on the floor. She looked at Kaylin and then at Severn. ‘Everything okay here. Kaylin?’

‘Yes. I was just leaving.’ She thought she did a good job of striding out past Teela with head held high, considering how the door wobbled as she walked over it.

Severn didn’t call out after her using either of her names.

***

Teela was intent on escorting her home. ‘Why did you hang around?’ asked Kaylin. 

‘Marcus would have my hide if I took you out to a bar, and something happened to you. Reflects poorly on the Hawks. Pull this shit when you go out with anyone else and you’re on your own.’ 

Kaylin had to concede she’d made some poor choices. ‘What made you come back in to look for me?’

‘You didn’t leave before the bar closed. There are only a few apartments above the bar, and only one with raised voices.’

‘How much did you overhear?’

‘Enough.’ was Teela’s spectacularly uninformative answer.

Teela stayed with Kaylin after they entered her building, all the way to the door of her apartment. ‘Kaylin,’ she started. Kaylin didn’t look up from fiddling with her keys. ‘Stay away from Severn, and stay away from the feifs.’

Kaylin knew she was a poor liar. ‘I have no desire to see Severn again.’

Teela must have seen right through what she didn’t say. Kaylin wondered if, as a Baranni, she respected the attempt to lie gracefully.

Teela sighed. ‘See you in two days.’

Kaylin let herself into her apartment and crawled into bed. Her morning shift with the midwives was going to be bad enough, and her afternoon trip to the fiefs would be hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm still here.
> 
> Just thought I'd share a fun fact. The Nightshade family of plants is called 'Solanaceae'. Nightshade's family name, prior to being made outcaste, was Solanace. I wonder if Nightshade chose his new name after being made outcaste, and his family name being surrendered?
> 
> Let me know your thoughts!


	4. Right of passage classic maverick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaylin heads back to her old stomping grounds.

Kaylin had not crossed this bridge across the river in seven years. She gave serious thought to coming back another day, but suspected that Severn would be standing in the middle of the bridge, as he was now, whatever day she chose.

She started to cross, and as she passed Severn, he matched pace with her.

‘Where were you planning to go?’

She was aware she had no plan, and no information to work off. She hadn’t been gone so long that she forgot no one would talk to her, a stranger. ‘I’ll go to one of the taverns. Someone will be drunk enough to talk.’

‘Brecht found the last body.’ Severn said.

She didn’t acknowledge the comment, but at the first filthy intersection Kaylin turned left in the direction that would take her to Brecht’s.

‘Brecht won’t be sober enough to talk.’

‘Well someone else will be drunk enough to.’ She stumbled on a broken cobblestone - too used to the smooth streets of the city, watching Severn instead of her feet.

‘Not with an outsider around.’

She could have said _I’m not an outsider_ , but that would be wrong. She couldn’t claim to be wholly of the city either. Instead she said ‘No one notices the person serving their drinks.’

It was late afternoon when they arrived at Brecht’s, and business was in full swing. Everyone wanted to be three sheets to the wind before sunset, so they could stumble home before dark. Those who lost track of time could rent a room from Brech for exorbitant prices and make their trek home in the light of dawn.

There was always someone who refused to pay for a room, and didn’t leave early enough. Someone usually found them in the morning.

They walked into the dingy room - once there were windows, but most of them had been covered over with planks of wood. It looked like Brecht have up to battle to keep glass intact in Nightshade.

Kaylin walked across to the bar, past the jostling mass of people trying to get Brecht’s attention. There was one serving girl on duty already, who was putting all her attention on the most well dressed man in the room - likely to tempt him to stay the night upstairs so she got a free bed. Her neglected customers were causing the press at the bar.

Kaylin grabbed a tray, and started walking around those still seated, taking orders. Severn leaned against the bar and watched. When she returned to the bar - now clear as everyone realised they had a better chance of being served if they sat back down - Kaylin put her tray down in front of Brecht. ‘We need a place to stay for the night. I’ll work in exchange for it.’

Brecht squinted at her, in one of the only two states he inhabited: drunk or hungover. ‘Elianne? I heard you got out. Thought it was a lie, thought you were dead for sure.’

‘Well, I’m alive and I’m back. I just need a place to lie low.’

He looked at Severn. ‘Yer doing a good job of lying low if you got a wolf on your tail already.’

‘He’s not on my tail.’

‘Yeah I’ll bet.’ Kaylin’s cheeks went red, half with mortification and half with anger. ‘A room is more than a night’s work. You get tips or you get someone else to pay.’ He looked Kaylin up and down.

Severn’s hands were on his daggers in an instant. Brecht had already marked Severn as a wolf, and no one else would talk to her if they figured it out. ‘Fine,’ she said, rather than let the conversation continue ‘I need six beers’. She took her hair down, picked up her tray, and got to work. 

Kaylin did rounds of the tables, serving drinks and pulling tips - she was clean and well fed, and that made her attractiuve in the feifs. She didn’t need an enemy so she left the other serving girl’s prize customer alone. 

She overheard plenty. ‘Did you see the new girl at Harmonie’s place…’, ‘ferals must have found him in the night, told the idiot to get a…’,’he gets a cut but you can keep any loot…’

After a few hours of what passed for fief chit chat, she heard ‘had to fetch the kid’s body out of the well. Damn thing won’t be fit to drink from for weeks.’

Kaylin collected all the empty glasses from the surrounding tables, and paid no attention to the orders being thrown her way. Instead of going to the bar to fill them, Kaylin picked up a rag and started cleaning the closest table - or, given how dirty the rag was, started pushing dirt around the table.

‘Damn. What sick freak ruins a well like that.’

‘Makes me glad I aint a parent.’

The other clapped him on the back ‘That you know of!’ and drained the dregs. ‘Girl!’

Kaylin turned to face him. ‘Another of these!’ She grabbed his empty glass and made her way to the bar, near where Severn was leaning. He was going for casual, but didn’t quite pull it off.

‘Another kid’s body has been found near a well.’ She held five fingers up for Brecht, guessing at the number of customers she’d ignored while eavesdropping.

‘Do you know which one?’

‘There are only three in the fief.’

He looked out at the orange sky - in the feifs sunset was a warning to seek cover. ‘No time tonight. We can check them tomorrow.’

Kaylin started to protest - for one, she had work in the evening - when silence settled over the bar. Severn’s hands dropped to his daggers.

She turned around.

Two Baranni guards stepped through the open door. They were armed, their armour kept in repair. These were not thugs.

Nor was the man they guarded. The man they accompanied, Kaylin corrected herself. She couldn’t imagine the final Baranni to enter the bar needed much guarding from anything.

He was tall, even for a Baranni, his hair flowing freely over his shoulders. She struggled to tell Baranni apart, but was certain she would recognise this one in a crowd. Was certain she had never seen him before, or she would remember it.

Those patrons nearest the other exits fled. She wished she could do the same. She felt as she had when she was a child, caught in the open at night, in the sights of a feral.

Nightshade stopped close enough that she had to crane her neck to meet his eyes. Close enough to touch.

He made a hand motion that meant something to the other Baranni, who started moving people along. He said something in Baranni, which ended in the word “child”. At the look of incomprehension on her face, he repeated in Elantran ‘So, you are the child.’ His expression indicated his dissatisfaction at having to repeat himself in a mortal tongue.

She hadn’t been a child for years. In that moment, she felt like one. She felt as though she had never left the feifs, the last seven years a cruel dream.

Just as he had when she was a child, Severn moved to stand at her shoulder. The feiflord’s gaze moved to him, and Kaylin’s instincts screamed at her to take a deep breath while she had the chance. She didn’t. It would be too much reaction.

‘Severn, it has been many years since we last spoke.’

Kaylin turned her head to look at Severn. His face the kind of expressionless that she knew masked anger. ‘Not enough of them.’

Nightshade backhanded Severn. Severn kept his footing. It happened so quickly that Kaylin didn’t register the fieflord’s hand passing over her head until it was over.

She did register how close that hand had been to striking her. She doubted it was an accident. 

‘You were - and will always be - one of mine. Do not presume overmuch.’ 

‘He’s not yours’, she said. She was surprised by the force she said them with - she half expected to squeak. She was also surprised to find she believed what she said, and to realise she had contradicted the fieflord in his own domain.

One of the fieflord’s brows rose. She had amused rather than angered him. Kaylin wasn’t sure what that amusement meant for her. She knew anger would have meant her death, and chose to count her lucky stars.

‘And do you claim him, then, little one?’

‘The Lord of Wolves does.’

She had amused him again, he grinned. He brushed her cheek, his hand soft. The touch was uncomfortably intimate, and shot a rod of steel through her spine.

This time her reaction did not amuse him. Instead of pulling back his hand, he cupped her cheek.‘The Lords of Law have no authority here,’ he replied softly, ‘save that which I grant them.’

She did not speak. Her childhood had taught her that, in practice, what he said was true. Severn, who would also have a more theoretical understanding of the law, didn’t chime in to contradict the fieflord.

Kaylin became very aware that, should the fieflord wish it, she and Severn would never return to the city. No one else knew where she was. She could die here with no one the wiser.

‘It is strange,’ he continued, ‘that you are at the apex of events and yet I have never met you.’ Nightshade looked into Kaylin’s eyes. She couldn’t look away, as Nightshade focused all of his attention on her. As if he was searching for something missing. Finally, he pulled his hand back from her face. ‘Who commands your loyalties, little one? Unless I am mistaken, you were born to the fiefs’

The Midwives Guild commanded her loyalties. So did the foundling hall. Kaylin suspected that was not what he meant. And if it wasn’t something she would reveal to Severn, she wasn’t going to tell the fieflord. ‘My loyalties are my own.’ She said. 

She expected the fieflord to laugh - it was clearly the most ridiculous thing she had said. Instead, he looked thoughtful. Then, he held out his hand.

‘I intend you no harm, and I intend to make clear to the people of my lands that I intend they offer you none.’ 

It took Kaylin a few moments to realise he intended her to take his hand. ‘I am not patient,’ the fieflord said ‘and I have little time to spare. You are here because of the sacrifices. And it is in my interest to see an end brought to them as well.’

Still, Kaylin hesitated. She had spent seven years carving out her life away from the fiefs. She intended for her current visit to the feif to be temporary, a way to sever the ties of the past by stopping the murders.

It sounded very much like the fieflord was putting a claim on her, and she suspected he would not relinquish it once the murders were stopped.

On the other hand, with two Baranni guards blocking to door, she saw no alternative but to do as he commanded.

Kaylin placed her hand in Nightshade’s, palm to palm, and he smiled as he closed his hand around hers.

At first she thought Nightshade was gripping her hand too hard, as the sensation of pins and needles started where there hands touched. Soon, it spread up her arm and intensified, past the point of discomfort and into pain. Magic. She tried to pull her hand free, with no success.

At her shoulder, the power that was questing up her arm broke into the air. It looked like a dark blue vine, with a five petalled flower blooming at the end. The petals thinned and wove into a rune.

The vine came closer to her face. Kaylin tried to move out of its way, but was unsuccessful she was quite attached to her arm, which the fieflord held tight. The rune touched her cheek, gentle in comparison to the pains in her arm. As gentle as the fieflord has been when he brushed her cheek earlier. Kaylin recognised the action had been meant to do more than just unsettle her. She wondered if the fieflord ever did something without it serving multiple purposes.

‘You bear my mark.’ he said quietly. ‘And in this fief it will afford you some protection.’  
He paused, and then added, ‘This is a fief. It will not protect you from everything. Mortal stupidity knows no bounds. But in the event you are harmed by _any_ save me, they will pay.’

 _Any save me_. Figures that the one person Kaylin most wanted protection from was the one that was exempt.

He dropped her hand. ‘Now, come. It is late, and we have far to travel.’

‘Travel?’

‘You are invited as guests to the Long Halls of Nightshade.’

Kaylin was still stunned by whatever magic had just transpired. It took a moment longer for her to realise he meant Castle Nightshade - a place she had avoided even the shadow of in her youth.

Nightshade continued without waiting for an answer. ‘We must travel in haste. It is not always easy to convey mortals through the fiefs at night.’

At this, Kaylin nodded. She doubted Brecht could be paid to let them stay the night now, and spending the night in Castle Nightshade was better than being turned out into the fief alone.

***

Kaylin’s cheek was still stinging half an hour later. They walked through the fief, the fieflord in the lead, and Baranni guards bringing up the rear. Kaylin brushed her fingers against her cheek, to see if the sensitive tips of her fingers could detect any change. Nothing. Well, maybe a pimple coming up closer to her hairline.

Severn must have seen her motion. ‘You’ve got a blue flower on your cheek.’

‘A _flower_?’

‘Sort of. It’s a nightshade.’

‘I have a tattoo of a _poisonous flower_ on my cheek.’

Severn didn’t reply.

‘Severn?’

‘It doesn’t look bad.’

‘No. When did you meet the fieflord?’

‘Back when we were both in the fiefs’ He spoke quietly and didn’t meet her eyes.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Because I didn’t want you to know.’

‘All right, I guessed that. Why?’

He shook his head. ‘Don’t ask Kaylin’

Kaylin had denied him every opportunity to explain himself, and then unwittingly given him an opening. Kaylin thought, if the fieflord not been within hearing, he might have taken the opportunity. 

It made her oddly grateful for Nightshades presence.

***

Castle Nightshade reflected its master in every way. It was remote and imposing. It was also perfect in a way that was jarring - a few feet from the walls, the uneven cobbles of the fief smoothed to a level of evenness that even the streetfront of the Merchant’s guild didn’t achieve.

‘Welcome,’ the fieflord said, ‘to Castle Nightshade.’ He stepped forward as they approached the gates, and he placed a hand upon the portcullis.

It shivered in place, but it did not rise.

‘Follow me,’ he said. ‘Do not stop. Do not hesitate, and do not show fear. While you are with me you are safe. Remember it.’

It seemed, to Kaylin, that he spoke only to her. 

Dry-mothed, she nodded.

He stepped forward through the portcullis. As if it were thick smoke. Drawing breath, Kaylin looked to Severn for support, and then did as he had done: She stepped into the gate.

It enfolded her.

She screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't entirely happy with this chapter - I still wanted to show the scene where Nightshade and Kaylin meet, but didn't want to copy the original interaction verbatim, and I'm not sure I struck the right balance - let me know what you think. Well, on with the show!
> 
> Characters all belong to the wonderful Michelle Sagara.


	5. Baptised with the perfect name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaylin lays out boundaries. Nightshade is bad at sticking to them.

When she woke, Kaylin’s head ached. She was thirsty. Her arms and legs were sore in a way that reminded her or growing pains, not that she’d had many growth spurts.

She was not in her own bed. She was getting very sick of ending up in beds that weren’t her own, with no memory of how she got there.

Unlike the last time she woke in a strange place, Kaylin had a companion.

Nightshade stood in the centre of the room, in the middle of a golden circle on the floor. The floor itself was marble shot through with gold. The room was otherwise bare. Kaylin wondered if he had staged the scene intentionally as to draw all her attention to him, or if it was simply reflex. ‘You will forgive me. I did not expect your passage here to be so...costly.’ 

As she sat up, she noticed that her arms were bare. She wore a simple dress of midnight blue. Despite its simplicity, it was elegant. It clung to her skin in a way that felt entirely too decadent - like sheets on bare skin. ‘Your former clothing was inappropriate for my halls. It will be returned to you when you leave.’

‘Who the hell undressed me!’

Nightshade looked affronted. ‘Your clothes were replaced magically. No one…’

‘That is not, on any level, appropriate.’ Kaylin 

‘At no point did I…’

‘If my clothing was offensive, you could have waited until I woke up and _asked me _to change it.’__

__‘My apologies, but I wished to see for myself if you bore the marks.’_ _

__‘You could have waited until I woke up and _asked me to roll up my sleeves_.’_ _

__Nightshade continued to look perplexed. Kaylin realised that, in all likelihood, no one had said a word against him in several centuries._ _

__Likely it would be another few centuries before it happened again, when word got around about her grisly death._ _

__Nightshade composed himself - or, since it was a bad idea to imply a Baranni had been discomposed - he returned his expression to one of vague boredness. He simply watched until she had crawled her way off the bed, before raising his arm the same way a gentlemen did for ladies in the plays put on at the foundling hall._ _

__He intended for her to take his arm. Kaylin thought back to the last time she’d taken the fieflord’s arm, and raised her fingertips to her cheek. Nightshade raised an eyebrow._ _

__Like before, it didn’t seem that she had a choice in the matter._ _

__‘Where is Severn?’_ _

__The fieflord didn’t answer. He looked at his extended arm, and back to her._ _

__She rested her hand on his arm and they started to move towards the room’s only door. It was large enough that she would struggle to push it, but it swung open at the fieflord’s approach. ‘Severn is elsewhere in the castle, and he remains unharmed. He is aware that you are likewise unharmed. Now come, there is something I wish for you to see.’_ _

__They stepped out into what she assumed was a forest._ _

__Trees sprung from the marble of the floor, as if the veins in the marble housed roots. Ferns spilled from the bases of some trees, grasses from others. Some of the juvenile trees came only to the height of her crown, while others almost reached the distant roof. The foliage was so thick she couldn’t make out the ceiling - the glimpses she did get could have as easily been the sky on a cloudy day._ _

__‘There is no sunlight,’ he told her, as if that made sense. ‘But outcaste or no, I am still a Barrani Lord— they grow at my whim’_ _

__Kaylin rubbed a leaf between her fingers - it was softer than the fabric of any dress that she owned. She brought the tips of her fingers to her nose - they smelled spicy and sweet, but she couldn’t tie the scent to anything she had experienced before._ _

__‘And if you don’t want them?’_ _

__He brushed his hand against the bark of a tree as they passed - another of the type she had brushed her fingers over earlier. Immediately it began to wilt, leaves dropping, trunk shrivelling. As she stepped on the leaves, they gave off a pungent, rotten perversion of the scent that still lingered on her fingers._ _

__She looked at the hand he brushed against the tree - it was the same hand he had brushed against her cheek to mark her._ _

__She said nothing. She had forgotten the casual cruelty of the fieflord. Had spent years outside of its reach._ _

__She kept her hands by her side. There was a price for defying him, as she had when she woke up, and it would be paid in whatever she valued most._ _

__‘Where are you taking me?’_ _

__Nightshade glanced at her arms._ _

__‘To the place that defends this castle from intruders.’_ _

__‘Why?’_ _

__‘Because the marks there are like the marks on your arms.’_ _

__‘Like the marks on the dead children.’_ _

__‘No.’_ _

__Kaylin stopped. The fieflord did not - she had the choice of losing her balance or her dignity, and chose to keep walking._ _

__‘The marks on the children are like mine,’ she said, ‘I’ve seen them.’_ _

__‘They are like and unlike. They are marked, like you, and in the same language. The differences are...subtle. But your marks more closely reflect the writings in these halls.’ Their path was blocked by branches that were interwoven to create a barrier. Then he looked directly at her. ‘I know this, because I took the time to examine the marks on your arms.’ He wasn’t smirking, but Kaylin got the sense that he would very much like to._ _

__As the branches in front of them cringed away from his touch, she decided not to reiterate her point about how inappropriate that had been. When the branches stopped moving, she could see the ground ahead was bare of any greenery. A shiver went up her spine, and stayed there. She hesitated once more. Nightshade stepped ahead into the opening, and turned to her. ‘Nothing will harm you here. You bear my mark. You are in my domain.’_ _

__Kaylin had spent half her life in Nightshade’s domain and never been safe. She stepped forward anyway._ _

__As they walked past the ring of trees, and the shadows cast by their branches, the light changed - going from green-tinged shadows filtered through leaves, to a warm gold the intensified the further they went. Kaylin looked up._ _

__Carved into the ceiling, emanating golden light, were patterns of golden lines and swirls. She looked at her exposed arms - marks twin to the ones on the ceiling glowed. Others remained dark._ _

__‘Yes, they are written in the same language as the marks you bear. I have never seen them glow this way.’_ _

__‘You didn’t write them?’_ _

__Nightshade frowned at her. She took the expression as scorn. ‘No one alive knows the makers of these marks, or the whole meaning of what they have written. Scholars have long come to the fiefs to study them and, if powerful enough, use them.’_ _

__‘You didn’t build the castle, did you?’_ _

__‘I claimed it. I was not the first to attempt it. I was the first to succeed.’ He continued walking._ _

__Kaylin followed, only to find her eyes were drawn to the floor. Light was coming from the floor, shifting the same way sunlight did on the water. The fieflord’s steps didn’t disturb the swirling patterns. Kaylin’s did - the light concentrated around her feet. The patterns it made on each of her footstep looked like water swirling down a drain._ _

__In the centre of the room, a circle of sapphire light covered the floor. It was covered with yet more runes and, unlike those on the ceiling, they moved._ _

__‘Here.’ Nightshade said, ‘Go no further Kaylin, and touch nothing if you value your life.’_ _

__She nodded._ _

__‘This is the seal of the Old Ones,’ he said quietly, ‘and from it emanates the power that defends the castle against intruders.’_ _

__She took a breath as the runes in the circle stopped moving, the edges sharpening as light from the runes on the floor speared towards the ceiling. The golden light from the ceiling dropped down to join it. Kaylin cried out in shock - it felt like her arms and legs were being scraped over gravel._ _

__‘Stay your ground’ the fieflord said. He sounded very far away._ _

__‘Kaylin, stay your ground.’ She wanted to tell him that she was staying her damn ground, but her jaw aching as she bit down on her determination to resist the pull of the column of light before her. She felt it, and inch from her face. Her hand was moving towards it, and she could feel the burn in her muscles as she tried to stop it._ _

__She heard the fieflord, felt his presence at her back. But her hand continued to move. Her hand sank through the light, like dipping into boiling water._ _

__She could make out a form in the centre of the pillar, a man. She couldn’t make out his features - not for lack of clarity, but something deep in her mind telling her to avert her thoughts from something she couldn't comprehend._ _

__She heard a single word. Chosen._ _

__Her feet moved towards the pillar. Her arm sank further into the light. She bit her lip, and the pain brought her back to herself - she lost sight of the man in the column. Her feet stopped moving - then lost purchase on the slippery marble, and followed the rest of her into the column of light._ _

__***_ _

__Kaylin stood in a circle of light - but filtered an less intense on the inside than it had been on the outside. She could make out nothing outside it - only darkness. The area covered by the light was large, but not so vast that she could not walk to the edge._ _

__It seemed to Kaylin, with the resistance Nightshade had put up to her being pulled into the column of light, trying to get out of it should be at the top of her to do list. The only other thing on that list was to stand around and see what happened._ _

__She set off._ _

__Walking didn’t feel like walking on pavement, or even gravel. It felt like the time Marrin had taken the foundlings to the ocean to play on the rocky shoreline. There was a little extra give in the ground with each step. She could hear her footsteps, but they were muted._ _

__‘Hello?’ No one answered answered her. ‘Nightshade?’_ _

__She hummed as she walked - it sounded like she did when she plugged her ears. She mentally recited the recipes for medicines she would stock up for the guild if her shift was quiet. The shadows that marked the edge of the light grew closer._ _

__Finally, legs aching, she drew close to the edge._ _

__She couldn’t make out much of what was beyond the halo of light while she was in it. Patches of darkness that were darker than the rest, maybe._ _

__She took a final step into the darkness._ _

__When her eyes cleared, she was in a grey expanse._ _

__Behind her was a tower of light - larger than the one that she had been pulled into in Nightshade’s castle - where she clearly no longer was. It was blinding to look at, and she had to turn close her eyes again for them to adjust to the darkness._ _

__In the distance there were five other towers just like it. Together they formed a circle, and the glow from the towers bathed the landscape._ _

__In the centre of the ring of light was a seventh tower, taller than the rest, and dark. An absence of any light marked out the barrier between it and the grey waste. Kaylin walked towards the dark tower at the centre._ _

__As she approached, the shadows at the base of the last tower moved. They seperated from the tower. They were heading in her direction._ _

__What started as three formless dark patches in the distance became distinct as they approached. Four legs and large jaws._ _

__Ferals, but worse. And coming her way._ _

__Kaylin ran back to the light. She made the mistake of looking over her shoulder._ _

__The not-ferrals were gaining on her. She could make out the claws that tipped their paws and the fangs in their open maws. Corded muscle rippled under skin that changed hue, colours blending together in ways that hurt the eye._ _

__Kaylin picked up her pace, though her lungs were already burning. Just as she neared the tower of light she’d emerged from she felt the tip of a claw slice through her left calf._ _

__She tripped and fell into the tower of light. The shadow did not follow._ _

__Kaylin looked up, to find she was no longer the only thing inside the column. Roughly in the centre was the shape of a dark, precise crest._ _

__She stared at it. Despite having no understanding of Baranni words at all, she knew this one. Her lips moved, voice raw from running and rasping over the unfamiliar syllables._ _

__Calarnenne._ _

__The word began to glow, and moved towards her. She reached out her arm, fingers brushing it as it came into reach._ _

__Suddenly, she was back in the Castle, surrounded by glowing golden runes._ _

__‘My apologies.’ the fieflord whispered. He was holding her with one arm around her waist and one at the back of her head. He was stooped so that his face was against her neck. He exhaled, and the sensation sent a tingle over her skin._ _

__Kaylin didn’t know what to do with a Baranni pressed up against her. Had he been human, she would have called the position intimate._ _

__He stood and took a step back. ‘Come. We must leave this place.’ She tried to take a step towards the opening in the forest, only for her legs collapse beneath her. The fieflord caught her before she hit the ground, cradling her to his chest._ _

__She saw blood smeared on his shirt, and realised it was her own. The cheek that bore his mark was bleeding._ _

__‘Calarnenne?’_ _

__‘Yes. My name. Do not speak it Kaylin.’_ _

__‘Your name?’ Kaylin had always thought his name was Nightshade. She didn’t see the point of hiding a name unless he wanted to hide himself from someone._ _

__‘Why did you...why your name?’_ _

__‘The mark was not enough.’ Nightshade looked at her, eyes blue. ‘Do not speak it to anyone. Particularly any Baranni. It would be considered a great insult.’_ _

__The fieflord’s face was impassive, and his tone gave nothing away, but she knew he was lying. And not just because he was Baranni and he was speaking. He was afraid of her having his name._ _

__Kaylin had never considered that the fieflord could be afraid of anything. She also didn’t have much hope she would live long once he decided to correct whatever made her a threat to him._ _

__***_ _

__They returned to the rooms she had woken up in. Nightshade deposited her on the bed - when he stepped back she could see where her blood had stained his shirt. The smear on his chest from her bleeding cheek was nothing compared to the blood that soaked into the sleeve from the gash on her leg._ _

__He leaned back towards her, reaching a hand towards her face, and she froze with surprise at his touch - a little odd, considerring he had been holding her just moments ago. He cupped her cheek, brushing his thumb over the bleeding mark. She didn’t feel any pain, but her heart fluttered in her chest like a startled bird._ _

__It seemed her earlier lecture on boundaries had gone largely unheeded._ _

__He pulled back again, her blood now also on his hand, and turned towards the corner of the room where a towel and bowls were sitting on a table - and when had those gotten there?_ _

__‘I have no particular affinity for healing magic, but your injury should be tended to before going back into the feif.’_ _

__He brought over the two bowls - one contained warm water - and sat on the edge of the bed. Nightshade dipped the towel in it and wiped off the blood on her cheek. He directed her to pull her knee up so her foot rested on the sheets, and a few more gentle strokes had the blood cleaned off her calf. It occurred to Kaylin that Nightshade was tending to her. The way a parent looked after an injured child. Or a nurse after a patient. Certainly not the way a Baranni treated a human, or a fieflord treated a fielfing. What did he gain from this?_ _

__As if in on some private joke, the fieflord smiled. The cruel edge to it was oddly comforting - the fieflord had not suddenly stopped playing by the rules. He was up to something._ _

__Next Nightshade dipped his fingers into the liquid in the second bowl, which had the consistency of honey. He smoothed it onto the lower few inches of the cut on her leg. Like the water, it was warm, but unlike the water it didn’t cool after a few moments. He applied it with small gentle strokes, working his way up her leg until his hand rested at the top of her calf. He squeezed her leg gently, there, before dipping his thumb into the liquid once more, brushing it over her cheek the same way he had brushed aside the blood, and wiping his hand on the towel._ _

__When he was done, Nightshade set aside the bowls and towels, but did not stand up. ‘You should rest before you go back into the fief.’ he said._ _

__‘I feel fine.’ she gritted out. Kaylin pulled her leg back towards her body, and the fieflord let it slip from his grasp._ _

__‘I very much doubt that,’ said Nightshade, ‘but if you are intent on risking your life, and that of the Wolf, I will not stop you.’ He withdrew towards the doorway._ _

__‘Good. We’re going.’ She hopped off the bed, and this time the fieflord didn’t offer her his arm. She refused to collapse during the long walk through his halls out of spite. He slowed as they approached the large door at the end of the hall - Kaylin hoped it wasn’t another portal. Instead of walking through the wood, the fieflord simply said ‘Open.’_ _

__The two statues that flanked the doors raised their heads, and looked at Kaylin. Only then did she notice the colour of their eyes - they were not living statues, but Baranni. They watched her until the door closed behind them._ _

__Just as she thought she might collapse again - and damn Nightshade, had he taken the long way around to prove a point? - the hallway opened up into a sitting room. Severn was facing off against two Baranni gudards._ _

__Kaylin called out to him, ‘Severn, stop!_ _

__He saw her cheek, and Nightshade, who still had her blood on his shirt. Severn started spinning the chain of his weapon, so the blades swept through the air. The guards drew their swords in response._ _

__‘Stop!’ Kaylin ran to the middle of the room, placing herself between Severn and his target. ‘I’m fine, we can go now.’ Severn showed no interest in listening to her, instead watching Nightshade. ‘I’m not hurt, and we are free to leave. If you start a fight you might not be able to end it without putting me in harm’s way.’_ _

__Finally Severn looked at her. His chain slowed, then stopped, and after a moment of hesitation he sheathed the blades. ‘When did you become the reasonable one?’_ _

__‘About when you started being an ass.’ Another time it might have been joking. But Severn deserved to be called worse than an ass, and he knew it._ _

__‘See that she rests.’ said Nightshade, before turning to lead them from the room._ _

__***_ _

__Not soon after leaving Castle Nightshade, Kaylin gave up the pretense that leaning on Severn was below her dignity._ _

__‘What happened?’ His arm was around her waist - half supporting her, half dragging her onwards._ _

__‘He showed me some seal. I fell in, he pulled me back out.’_ _

__‘Where there words on the seal?’_ _

__‘Why?’_ _

__‘Words have power.’_ _

___I know._ she wanted to say. She held her tongue._ _

__They were halfway across the fief when familiar growls echoed behind them. They picked up their pace, until the same growls emerged ahead - and with them the monsters that haunted her childhood. They were surrounded._ _

__Severn backed them against the nearest building, pushed her behind him, and set his blades spinning._ _

__The six ferrals surrounded them. The first pounced, and Severn’s blade sliced its face but didn’t kill it. The next two pounced, one from either side - one lost a paw, the other its head. The injured one dropped back snarling._ _

__Kaylin saw how this would end - two injured ferrals, both spitting mad, three uninjured ferrals and only two blades. Just as the ferrals shifted onto their hind quarters, preparing to leap, Kaylin held up her right hand. Severn had to draw back the chain to stop it smacking her arm._ _

__‘No!’ Fire flowed from her fingertips, pouring out into a wall of flame between them and the ferals. Kaylin gripped the flame closer in her mind, pulling the word closer instead of letting it slip from her grasp._ _

__A human shaped figure split from the flames, drawing close to the nearest feral. It reached out, as if to pet the beast, and when the fire made contact with the ferals head the entire thing burst into flame._ _

__The remaining ferals fled. The figure in flame walked back through the fiery barricade towards Severn and Kaylin._ _

__Kaylin pressed a hand to her pounding skull. ‘Enough now. You can go back.’_ _

__The elemental hesitated, head tilted up as if contemplating the wooden building behind them. Kaylin tried very hard to not think of the few housefires she had seen spread through the fief. ‘Go.’_ _

__The elemental disappeared, and the wall of fire fizzled out._ _

__Kaylin slumped against the wall, then slid down it when her legs stopped supporting her. She felt Severn’s hand on her shoulder before slipping into the dark._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...two weeks after I hoped to publish this. Better than last time, no? Thoughts, musings, observations, compliments, criticisms, ramblings, comments, remarks and speculation always appreciated.


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